on look another pair of tits. fuck! stop it! i am trying to download comic books not look at some girls shitty fake tan!
the sheer amount of popup ads about sex i get is astounding
fuck it. im gonna go watch vampires have sex
do you know that feeling when your found something as awesome as a tumblr post with all the essential batman comics on it and that you deleted the link you had saved to it EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST FUCKING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU EVER!?!?!?! FUCK FUCKIGHTY FUCKING
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to (Unless you’re in prison.)
That awkward moment when you go to the mall and the guy giving out sandwich samples moves… And there is a thong on the ground.
- Girl: Why does blood taste like metal?
- Guy: Because there's iron in it.
- Girl: Oh. Is that why we're magnetical?
- Me: ... Sonuvabitch.